Dear Cheesecake Elephant,

I miss you. It’s only been a couple weeks since I’ve seen you and I already hate how far away we are from each other. 

When I think about Shakespeare School three summers ago, I would have never expected that YOU would have been the person that I stayed in touch with the most…let alone become one of my best friends…I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and you calling me that day after camp was a decision that I can never thank you enough for making.

There are very few people in this world that I can wholeheartedly say that I know I will be friends with for the rest of my life. Well, I have never doubted it with you. No matter how long we go without seeing each other, and no matter how busy either of us gets, I know that we will always stay best friends. It’s so rare to find someone who just understands you no matter what, who is 100% supportive at all times and who you can be completely yourself around. So thank you for being that person for me. I ALWAYS look forward to our adventures because I know that no matter what we do together, I will have the best time of my life. 

I can’t wait to spend the next 60+ years making new memories. I love you so much, and I’m just so glad that you are in my life.

Love,

Your Kindred Spirit

Dear ——-,

I miss you. A lot. I knew I was going to miss you from the moment I got here. I mean, from the moment I heard the news, I missed you. It’s just…different. Not bad different - because I do love it here, and nothing can change that. But it just feels like something is missing - and I know that something is you. 

You were such a vital part of my life here, and now you’re not here. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. My reaction surprised me. I honesty didn’t think it was possible to cry for hours on end in a row, except maybe for a death. But I did. When I think about all the things I had planned for us, and all of the things that we never got to do together, I just get so sad. Because, more likely than not, we will probably not have the chance to do them. (Although I really do hope I’m wrong about that).

I know that just because we don’t live in the same city anymore doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends. I KNOW THAT. And I intend on doing my absolute best to keep in touch with you because you mean a lot to me, and I don’t plan on losing you as a friend…ever. I just wish we had had more time. And I just miss you. Plain and simple. 

I hope you do actually come visit because I would love it more than anything. I love you so much. Please please please stay in touch. 

Love your chicken,

Amanda

Hi ———-,

I hope you’re doing well - the last time we bumped into each other, you didn’t really look all that great, which leads me to believe that you aren’t taking care of yourself and that the people in your life are not being supportive. And for that, I am sorry. I am sorry that we have lost touch. For the most part, it’s my fault and because of that, I almost feel responsible for the life you are living now. You seem less happy, less you. At least, less like the girl I once knew.

You used to be such a bubbly, happy, loving girl who was so much fun to hang around. I really did consider you my best friend. I mean, we did so much together and you were always there for me and vice versa. But then one day, everything changed. You started acting differently, dressing differently, doing things you always told me you would never do. And I still stuck by you. Because best friends do. Because I loved you and I didn’t to lose you. I knew that if I stopped being your friend, your life would take a plunge in the direction it was already going. I didn’t want to create a distance. That was never my intention. But can’t you understand how hard it is to try and have the same kind of friendship with someone who has completely changed? 

I hope that this new you is the real you - for your sake. I would hate to think that you are hiding behind this facade just to feel like you fit in (although I know that you have always just wanted to be a part of something). Know that I will always cherish our friendship, and the times that we spent together - and if you ever feel like you have no one left to lean on, the door is always open. I’m just a phone call away.

Love,

Amanda

Dear ——-,

I’m not actually sure of what I’ve done. Or if you are even really mad at me. But your actions seem to be saying that you want nothing to do with me right now and to be honest, I really don’t understand why. It makes me so sad that we have become strangers lately. At least if I knew of an actual reason why, I would feel better, but I don’t. You don’t respond to my messages when I know you’ve read them. You were the one who always get upset when we didn’t see each other enough, and now it doesn’t even seem to phase you.

WHAT HAPPENED? What the heck did I do to be treated like this? I’ve always been honest with you so just tell me! Because if you don’t - we will never be able to fix this and I need this to be fixed because you are one of the most important people in my life and I refuse to lose you without a fight. 

So please, just tell me how you feel. Give me SOME insight as to why we suddenly went from speaking every day to having the odd awkward conversation. If I have done something tot hurt you, I am sorry. Clearly it wasn’t on purpose since I don’t even know what it is. And I would never do anything to hurt you - you know that. 

Hope to hear from you soon,

Amanda

Dear asshole,

I pride myself on rarely using the word “hate” when referring to another person. In my opinion, the word “hate” is an extremely strong word - too strong to actually call another human being. Yes, there are people in this world that I am not fond of, or that I have a strong dislike for. However, because of your actions and your idiocy and cruelty towards me, you have caused me to break that rule. I can honestly say that I hate you with every fiber of my being. I hope you live a miserable life, with little happiness because you deserve every negative thing that has and will ever happen to you (and even that won’t be enough).

I have never been able to actually tell you how I feel and I can’t stand that. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to send you an email telling you off, but guess what? I TOOK THE HIGH ROAD. I’m the bigger person here, even though according to you, I’m the child in this situation. You may technically be the “adult” in the situation, but your actions most definitely make YOU the child. You are the most childish and immature human being that I have ever had the displeasure of working with. It is your job to make young adults feel at home in the environment you create. You are supposed to allow them to feel respected, safe and able to create without being held back.  But you don’t. You are a TYRANT; a stupid excuse for a man. You should have been FIRED for your actions, but instead, I was the one who suffered through it. I could have left. But then you would have won. And I have always made a promise to myself: Once I start something, I always finish it. I wasn’t going to let an idiot get in the way of that. 

Did you make my life a living hell? YES. So I hope you’re content with yourself. Did you also make the few people who had the GUTS to stand up for me hell too? Yes. And for that I hate you even more.

You wanted to break me down and for me to crumble right in front of you. But you know what? I’m a fighter. I will NEVER stop fighting. And even though you caused me some of the lowest moments I have ever had, you NEVER broke me. 

I hope to never see your face again. But if I do, know that I will be LAUGHING the whole time because no matter what you say to me, I KNOW that I will always be the better human being. And because of that, I will always have won. 

Hey ——-,

Remember when we were best friends? I mean, I like to think we still are. I know I still consider you one of my best friends, so I would hope you feel the same way.

I know this summer has been crazy for the both of us, especially you, and I completely understand your situation. It’s just that more often than not, I find that actions speak louder than words and, more often that not, your actions have said “I don’t want to hang out with her”. And I know we have talked about it, and you tell me that that’s not it at all, but it’s really hard not to feel that way sometimes. I guess it’s just been weird for me - going from seeing or hearing from each other every day and then barely seeing you at all. I just miss you. And our adventures. And our talks. 

I’m really hoping things go back to normal soon. I would love nothing more than that to happen. I love you, and I always will.

Lots of love,

Panda

[So I’m skipping letter number eight - I don’t have internet friends…weird.]

Dear Grandma,

I never thought that it was possibly to miss someone that you’ve never met. But I do. I miss you every single day. Selfishly, I try and live my life not thinking about you because every time I do, I get so unbelievably upset and angry. But every once in a while, something will make me think of you, and it just makes me sad that the only parts of you that I will ever know about are what my Dad tells me about you. 

I wish I could have known you-even for just a day. You know when people ask the question: “If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, real or fictional, who would it be?” My answer is, and has always been, my Grandma.

When I think about the fact that my dad lost you when he was only eighteen, it absolutely breaks my heart. I know that you were the most important person in his life and I can’t even begin to understand that pain that he has gone through because of losing you. The thought of losing my mom is UNBEARABLE. I don’t even want to think about it. 

I hope that you are truly in a better place, and that you are watching down on us-I believe that you are. I hope that you’re proud of the people your kids have become. Just based on my dad, I know how wonderful a mom you must have been. I hope you are proud of me and the person that I have become. I know my dad says that he sees a lot of you in me and even though I never knew you, every time he says that to me, I can’t help but smile. 

I Love You.

Your granddaughter,

Amanda

Hi.

I feel like it’s been a while since we have actually talked. So Hi. How are you? I hope you are happy and that your life is good because that’s really all I want for you. 

I feel like things have been weird lately. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe this change is what we needed for both of us. 

Even though you know this, I want you to know how thankful I am that you are in my life. These past three years, you have made me a better person. You have taught me what I want and need in a relationship. I never imagined that I would find someone that I love and that is my best friend too, at such a young age. You have showed me how I deserve to be treated and what it is like to fall in love, and for that, I am forever grateful.

You will always have a special place in my heart, and I truly do hope that we can continue the friendship that we have. 

Love,

Amanda